Tuesday, December 2, 2008

The dating life of Medusa.

Imagine, for a moment, that you are Medusa.

No, I'm talking about neither the planetary nebula nor the community in Albany County, New York. I'm talking about the legendary Gorgon who turned anyone who looked at her into stone.

How awkward! What if you were in her shoes (does she wear shoes?), and on a dinner date. You're trying your best not to make eye contact, but in the middle of the conversation, shoot, your date just turned into stone.

Now, of course, you'd have to pay. Naturally, you wouldn't have to lose any money; you could just take his wallet (it wouldn't turn to stone). But that would still be a pretty awkward situation.

"Uh, hey, waiter, check please? No, this man won't be needing his steak. He, uh, turned into- ah, crap. WE NEED A NEW WAITER."

She also had snakes for hair. How do you brush snakes? And can you put hairspray on them? What happens when they get long? When you cut them, do their heads grow back, or do you end up with a scalp full of decapitated, bleeding snakes?

What a mess.

Be glad for what you've got, ladies. Optimism tip: Say to yourself in the mirror, "I may not be pretty but at least I'm not Medusa."

Feel better already? Good. You're welcome.
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